A Day at the Races

The March 12 issue of USA Today ran a fetching headline and image collage of Presidential buttons with all of the current (according to useless polls {at this useless stage of the game}) front-runners for the ‘08 Presidential election. I can only imagine the layout editor from TV Guide was brought in for this one. Every face on every button was a first. Hillary Clinton: First Woman. Mitt Rommey: First Mormon. The Obama: First Black (African-American). John McCain: first over 70(years of age). Rudy Giuliani: First Italian.

As an American who knows anything, I saw right through this ridiculous media hype.

-For the record, the first woman to run for President was Victoria Woodhull, in 1872. And just last cycle, former Illinois Senator Carol Moseley-Braun ran for the Democratic nomination. What the hell? Try this one on for size USA Today: First First Lady to run for President

- Mitt Rommey is not the first Mormon to run for President. In fact the First Mormon himself, Joseph Smith Jr. ran for President in 1844. Perhaps Mitt can be the first Mormon to run for President who does not get lynched.

- As short as your memory may be, you must have some recollection of another black man running for President. I’m just gonna toss out a few names, and you tell me when they ran for president: Rev. Jessie Jackson, Rev. Al Sharpton, Ambassador Allen Keyes.

-The first man over 70, in recent history was of course Sen. Bob Dole. But if you want to get technical, President Regan was over 70 when he ran for re-election in 1984(and they do mention that in the article). I wonder if the title of First Vietnam P.O.W would intrest the editors. Anybody? No, but really, that might mean a damn.

-And the first Italian to run for President was back in good old 1928. A man with the strangely Anglo-Saxon name of Alfred E. Smith.
In any case, I'm going to buy my velour joging suit now. (and I wonder if Wikipedia can tell me who the first harp Presidential candidate was.)

The Obama fares most poorly in this history lesson, because his category was most recently dispelled in the 2000 election. And this by the candidate who ran against him for the senate seat he now holds. (best debate ever)

I remember not too many months ago when much ado about nothing was being made about the "firsts" of Super Bowl XLI. The sports "news" media was compelled to say that this was the first time two black(African-American) head coaches were going head to head.

The only real first The Obama holds, is that of the first half-black Presidential candidate.

(For clarification, I have never been the one to make race an issue. I have never personally researched the percent German, or English, or Jewish I am to receive scholarships, not that I have even looked for the opportunity. I have followed the thought that a man should be judged not by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character. But that belief goes against our current system of institutionalized racism.)